Don’t Fall For China Domain Name Fraud. Seek The Deeper Meaning Of Words.
By now, you have probably heard about the Chinese domain name scam. It’s almost as old as the Nigerian 419 scam. Helpful hint: Google these things and/or check Snopes.com to see if they are legit. See also my earlier blog post on the Chinese domain name scam.
Recently, I decided to have a little fun at the Chinese domain scammer’s expense. In order to respond in appropriately broken English, I translated my responses from English to Chinese and back to English using Google Translate and Yahoo! Babel Fish. I used two different translators so I would not get the same output as my input.
Hilarity ensued.
I have not changed the names to protect the innocent because there are no innocents here (except the target victims).
Email 1: Scammer To Erik: In Which Scammer Sets The Bait
Subject: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute in China
From: peter.yan@tcnic-china.net
Date: October 18, 2010 2:48:08 AM EDT
To: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
(If you are NOT CEO,please forward this to your CEO, because this is urgent.Thanks.)
Dear CEO,
We are the organization of Asian Brand and Domain registration dispute, have something need to confirm with you. we formally received an application on Oct 17th,2010. one company which called “Brazil Hgds Investment S.A” are applying to register “Clocktowerlaw” as Brand Name and Domains.
clocktowerlaw.asia (Asia)
clocktowerlaw.cn (China)
clocktowerlaw.com.cn (China)
clocktowerlaw.com.hk (Hong Kong)
clocktowerlaw.com.tw (Taiwan)
clocktowerlaw.hk (Hong Kong)
clocktowerlaw.in (India)
clocktowerlaw.net.cn (China)
clocktowerlaw.org.cn (China)
clocktowerlaw.tw &nb sp; (Taiwan)
But we found that “Brazil Hgds Investment S.A” is not the original owner of the brand and trademark in the checking period,which belong to your company .I need confirm with you whether your company authorized that company to register these domain name.If you have done that ,We will finish the registration for them and link to their website.
If not ,please let me know ASAP.
In addition, we hereby affirm that our time limit for dissent application is 7 workdays. If your company files no dissent within the time limit, we will unconditionally approve the application.
Best Regards,
Peter Yan(Mr)
Auditing Consultant
Tel: +0086-566-2629-555 Fax: +0086-566-2629-666
Address:Room205, No.D4 Qingxi South Garden, South-ChangJiang Road,Guichi Shi District,Chizhou,China
Email 2: Erik To Scammer: In Which Erik Agrees ‘This Is Urgent’
Subject: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute in China [CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Date: October 18, 2010 8:55:39 AM EDT
To: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Cc: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Greetings,
I am CEO. In answer question, Clock Tower Law Group is not authorize “Brazil Hgds Investment S.A” to register these domain name. This is urgent.
Regards,
Erik
—
Clock Tower Law Group [trademarks | domain names | patents]
2 Clock Tower Place, Suite 255, Maynard, MA 01754-2545
newsletter: http://www.lawlawlaw.com [subscribe]
website: http://www.clocktowerlaw.com
Email 3: From Scammer To Erik: In Which Scammer Tries To Reel Erik In
Subject: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute in China[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Date: October 18, 2010 8:21:47 PM EDT
To: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Dear Sir,
Based on your company having no relationship with them, we have suggested they should choose another name to avoid this conflict but they persist with using this name as CN domain names (.cn/.com.cn/.net.cn/.org.cn) and Brand Name on the internet. In our opinion, maybe they do the similar business as your company and register it to promote his company.
According to the domain name registration international principle: The domain names and Brand Name which applied based on the international principle are opened to companies as well as individuals. Any companies or individuals have rights to register any domain name and Brand Name which are unregistered. Because your company haven’t registered this name as CN domains and Brand Name on the internet, anyone can obtain them by registration. However, in order to avoid this conflict, the trademark or original name owner has priority to make this registration in our audit period.
If your company is the original owner of this name and want to register these CN domain names (.cn/.com.cn/.net.cn/.org.cn) and Brand Name to prevent anybody from using them, please inform us.
Best Regards,
Peter Yan(Mr)
Auditing Consultant
Tel: +0086-566-2629-555 Fax: +0086-566-2629-666
Address:Room205, No.D4 Qingxi South Garden, South-ChangJiang Road,Guichi Shi District,Chizhou,China
Email 4: From Erik To Scammer: In Which Erik Says Little While Saying Lots
Subject: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute in China[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Date: October 19, 2010 8:27:56 AM EDT
To: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Cc: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Greetings,
As understand, you have NOT suggested that they should choose another name to avoid such conflicts, but they INSIST on using this name when the CN domain name (. Cn / .com.cn / .net.cn / .org . cn) and on the Internet brand name. Your opinions, they may do similar business as my company and register it to promote their company. Domain name registration in accordance with international principles: application of international principles-based domain name and brand of the company is open and individuals. All companies or individuals have a right to register any unregistered domain names and brand names. Since my company haven’t registered in the name of the field when the CN and the brand on the Internet, anyone can get them by registered. However, in order to avoid such conflicts, trademark, or the original name of the owner during the audit of your arrangements for the priority of the reservation.
Summary, my company IS the name of the original owner brand name.
Thank you.
Regards,
Erik
—
Clock Tower Law Group [trademarks | domain names | patents]
2 Clock Tower Place, Suite 255, Maynard, MA 01754-2545
newsletter: http://www.lawlawlaw.com [subscribe]
website: http://www.clocktowerlaw.com
Email 5: From Scammer To Erik: In Which Scammer Appears Confused
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute inChina[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Date: October 24, 2010 8:30:48 PM EDT
To: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Cc: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Dear Erik,
Yes, you speak correctly, you are the owner of the original brand name. You have priority registration rights. Thought for a long time still do not understand what you talking about the deeper meaning of these words.
Best Regards,
Peter Yan(Mr)
Auditing Consultant
Tel: +0086-566-2629-555 Fax: +0086-566-2629-666
Address:Room205, No.D4 Qingxi South Garden, South-ChangJiang Road,Guichi Shi District,Chizhou,China
Email 6: From Erik To CTLG: In Which Erik Shares Pre- And Post-Translation Philosophy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute inChina[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Date: October 25, 2010 9:00:46 AM EDT
To: Mary M. Keele, Michael A. Bartley
Cc: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Greetings,
This is my pre-translation response:
I am relieved to heard that I are the owner of the original brand name CLOCK TOWER LAW. And that I has the right to priority registration.
I also do not know the long-term view about the deeper meaning of words. It is a philosophical question, to be sure, one that perhaps is beyond the scope of the current conversion. Nevertheless, I will add that some words are like poetry, and to paraphrase Robert Frost (if I dare), one should take the road less traveled by:
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
– Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken” (4th stanza)
Do you like Robert Frost?
Regards,
Erik
—
Clock Tower Law Group [trademarks | domain names | patents]
2 Clock Tower Place, Suite 255, Maynard, MA 01754-2545
newsletter: http://www.lawlawlaw.com [subscribe]
website: http://www.clocktowerlaw.com
Email 7: From Erik To Scammer: In Which Erik Explains The Deeper Meaning Of Words
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights Dispute inChina[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Date: October 25, 2010 9:07:31 AM EDT
To: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Cc: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Greetings,
I very happily hear me am the original brand and owner CLOCK TOWER LAW. Moreover I have the first registration power.
I did not know that has the deeper meaning words long-term judgment. This is a philosophy question, may affirm, has possibly surpassed the current transformation scope. However, I will increase some elephant poem, the word, and repeats Robert Frost (if I dare), should adopt the unusual path:
I will tell sigh this
very long very long some place, therefore:
Two roads branch out in the woods, with I –
me unvisited one,
this causes differently all how.
– Robert Frost “Has Not Chosen The Road” (4th)
You like Robert Frost?
Regards,
Erik
—
Clock Tower Law Group [trademarks | domain names | patents]
2 Clock Tower Place, Suite 255, Maynard, MA 01754-2545
newsletter: http://www.lawlawlaw.com [subscribe]
website: http://www.clocktowerlaw.com
Email 8: From Scammer To Erik: In Which Scammer Quotes No Poetry
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights DisputeinChina[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Date: October 25, 2010 8:17:37 PM EDT
To: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Reply-To: peter.yan@tcnic-china.net
Dear Erik,
We can’t reject their Application due to the law and the rule in the Internet make us have to do not reject.Wish you can understand.
If those Domain names are very improtant to your company, we can apply the priority of registration to your company to register those names.It’s the only way to protect those names.
There is no enough time left to deal with this matter.Whatever you register or give up,please give me a reply as soon as possible.Thank you!
Best Regards,
Peter Yan(Mr)
Auditing Consultant
Tel: +0086-566-2629-555 Fax: +0086-566-2629-666
Address:Room205, No.D4 Qingxi South Garden, South-ChangJiang Road,Guichi Shi District,Chizhou,China
Email 9: From Erik To Scammer: In Which Erik Asks A Simple Question
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Notice of Internet Intellectual Property Rights DisputeinChina[CTLG ref. 04.0109]
From: Erik J. Heels <erik@clocktowerlaw.com>
Date: November 2, 2010 2:48:00 PM EDT
To: Peter Yan <peter.yan@tcnic-china.net>
Cc: Clock Tower Law Group <info@clocktowerlaw.com>
Greetings,
Do we ready?
With Thank You,
Erik
—
Clock Tower Law Group [trademarks | domain names | patents]
2 Clock Tower Place, Suite 255, Maynard, MA 01754-2545
newsletter: http://www.lawlawlaw.com [subscribe]
website: http://www.clocktowerlaw.com
The End
So I never heard from my friend again. A lover of Robert Frost’s poetry? I may never know. I never learned the answer to the lifelong question, “Do We Ready?”
But I did not waste any money on unnecessary domain names, so that was good.
I just got that scam, for the first time. I don’t even have a company, just a hobby website… And when looking what the scam was about, I found your page. Thanks for the great laugh!
Sometimes, when I happen to have some extra time, I take some phone salesman for a ride into philosophy, let them think repeatedly that he might make the sale, but never really agree to it. And when he is getting really impatient and about to give up, I tell him very clearly that I’m not buying anything, and that I would never ever buy anything that someone is offering me over the phone. Some get really angry, others just hang up.
I believe that making such people loose time is a great service to society. The more time these people loose, the worse gets their crooky business. Taht might make them give up, and in any case, while someone engages them, they can’t bother anyone else. So, congratulations, Erik, you are helping to make the world a little bit better!
Brilliant response, these emails are so irritating but laughing at them is certainly the best remedy.
Very funny dude. Love your style 🙂
https://www.facebook.com/sonjawheels/posts/249342431822328
As of 11/22/11, Facebook’s blog-to-Notes feature is going away, so I’m deleting all of my old Notes (i.e. imported blog posts). You can find the originals on my blog (www.erikjheels.com). Story here: http://www.allfacebook.com/facebook-notes-blog-timeline-2011-11
These comments originally appeared on Facebook:
Susan Cartier Liebel They definitely target businesses
June 15 at 7:27am · Like
The answer to your question is 47 (I’m pretty sure Douglas Adams got it wrong). I’m really quite surprised they didn’t get back to you on that!
Brilliantly funny! The double translation move was very clever. I have shared this with a few friends.
hilarious… glad to hear someone is wasting THEIR time